1. |
A Return To Mercy
03:15
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2. |
Big Summer Plans
02:30
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Sentimental sentiment. I drank a lot of coffee today. Genuine friendliness. Gen-u-wine? I want to be missed. I sneak outside, release a stream, take in the sky, the stars, they gleam. A customer at work asked for a pop, instead of a soda, and by golly if it wasn't the most refreshing thing I've heard all week. I was on the verge of crying nine times today. Nine times. Am I making any sense? Do I sound sincere? Is this poetic or pathetic? Every single subtle moment, it mesmerized me. Am I a creep? Everything I felt was real, but what does that even mean? Forget hygiene. How do I say I think our hearts have a lot in common? Heh, oh yeah, I just say it.
I spend a decent part of each day daydreaming about different ways id rather be spending my life. Or should be. I should be licking clouds or something. I want to bathe in a tub of black coffee. I wanna go swimming in the earth. I want to give snack cakes away to people on the street. I want to go street skating in Rosiclare, Illinois, then fall asleep to the sound of my grandfather watching M*A*S*H. I wanna sit by the oak tree with you. I want to belt out Edwin McCain's "I'll Be" to you at our reception with the wedding band behind. Haha, nah, we don't have to get married. All I really wanna do is dance to cassettes in our kitchen while we cook breakfast. That's it.
I'm so twisted up on the inside you don't even know. My grandma told me that once. And I'm not sure my other grandma even remembers who I am anymore. She also told me that she's tired of living. How should I respond to that? Yeah, me too, grandma. Me too. How should I spend my time? I don't know, but laying here in the dark; this is pathetic. I don't remember when I started saying I love you to friends, but I want you to take some time now and think about the things you'd truly miss if you... It shouldn't be difficult to harness your best and value life, but whether or not you wanna live, your body gives. Whether or not you wanna live, your body gives.
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4. |
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Stare out the window, above the trees. Sometimes I feel like a monk. Simple and clear. Sometimes I chase the sunset, and curse the sky. How do I overflow my life with light? I'm working hard, or I think I am. And I don't know what keeps me here. I'm just too strong. Or am I too weak? I'll daydream up ways of how I'd like to leave. Yeah, I could be digging graves, but I'd keep them straight. Spirit Divine, am I wasting time? I'm getting old. I'm getting cold. Everyone I love will breakdown.
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All my thoughts are collecting dust. I've forgotten how I had felt. This is so dumb, but it's so not. Is it not? Be a light surrounded in the dark. That's the least you can do. I want you to know that you never left my...
I want to forget, but I need to remember this. The scars on your arm, your worn out heart, the important parts. No, I'm not looking for answers. All I need are reminders. Of what I... of why I...
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6. |
Slow Fade
02:44
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7. |
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Say it once, say it once that's all I want. I don't know what it meant, but it meant a lot. Maybe I should start wearing a beret, or a toupee... I just realized that I'll probably outlive my cat.
And I did.
I wonder if you think of me; my noisy knees and my coffee teeth. I can't feel my extremities, I'm a sobbing mess. You look terrible when you cry, and that's more than fine. I'm not alright. Is that alright?
Step out into the light, let it build up inside. Love is heavy, and I think I've gained some weight. Oh, it would be so nice if we ate clementines. I hope to make a difference in someone's life.
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8. |
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It's okay to be a wreck, but now I think I get it. It's not about what you take in, it's about what your reflecting. And I don't care if everything's for nothing, except I do.
I want to feel your heartbeat. My heart is a blueberry.
It's been years and it still burns, and it'll burn until I'm in an urn. Oh my god, I just wanna cry, cause I don't wanna be okay with dying. No, I don't wanna screw up death. I'm not dead yet.
I want to feel your heartbeat. My heart is a blueberry.
(I hate it here, but I don't wanna leave. Why can't I stay?)
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9. |
Grow
06:24
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You've got that gold, and it should grow.
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10. |
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Carte de Visite St. Louis, Missouri
The hopes and fears of all the years.
floatawaydangling.tumblr.com
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There's nowhere left to go.
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